A Spoken Word Reflection on the Hardest Goal I Never Set

Intro
When asked, “What was the hardest personal goal you’ve ever set?” I sat long and still. I searched my memory for a goal I had crafted, a milestone I had chased. But I found none. Not because I lacked ambition—but because the truest goal I pursue was never mine to set.

It was set before I was born.
It was whispered into my spirit before I had language.
It is eternal life.

This is the hardest goal.
Not because it is unreachable,
But because it reaches into everything.
It rewrites my story,
Reorders my steps,
Reveals my cave.

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Spoken Word

Once upon a time,
In the slippery path of my youth,
I stumbled—not into sin, but into scripture.
Psalm 142.
I was under sixteen,
But the cry was older than me.
I read it aloud in the dormitory corner,
And it was as if I had written it myself.
I cried.
I found comfort.
I found David.
And David found me.

I became he in a she.
His cave became my closet.
His cry became my breath.
His solitude became my sanctuary.
No mother. No father.
Brothers and sisters, all drowning in their own storms.
Friends too lofty to descend into my ache.
But David—David descended.
And I followed.

I memorized the psalm,
Not to recite it,
But to survive it.
Every night before sleep,
Every morning before breath,
I returned to the cave.
And it revived me.

Now, decades later,
I am still the last among many.
He was the youngest.
So am I.
He was the shepherd.
So am I.
He was called.
So am I.
He was second-guessed.
So am I.

This is not mimicry.
This is mantle.

So what do I do when nothing feels interesting?
When goals mock me with silence?
When effort feels like dust?

I return.
To the cave.
To the cry.
To the psalm that raised me.

Because sometimes the goal is not to fulfill—
It is to witness.
To stand in the cave and say,
“I am overwhelmed.”
And let that be enough.

So this morning,
I am not failing.
I am remembering.
I am reviving.
I am returning.

And in the midst of many,
I am still the last.
But I am not lost.

I am called.
I am kept.
I am chasing the goal I did not choose—
Eternal life.

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🔥 Call to Action

What are you chasing after?
What book has jumped out of the ordinary to become you?
Do you understand the power of reading—not just for knowledge, but for identity?

Let this be your invitation:
Return to the cave.
Find the psalm that breathes your name.
And let it revive you.

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