Introduction: Online or Social Media Dating
Over the years, I have heard testimonies of couples who met on social media, married, and are still thriving after more than 15 years together, blessed with children. At the same time, I have also heard troubling stories of deception—duping, phishing, and extortion—through online dating and relationships.
Because of these mixed realities, I believe it is important to share our experiences. By doing so, we can help expose fraudulent practices and discourage those who use social media as a tool for exploitation.
The truth is that many fake accounts exist, built on stolen identities, photos, and fabricated details. Personally, I remain cautious about starting or encouraging such relationships. I learned long ago that some individuals—often young men—target vulnerable people with the intent to drain them financially.
They study your profile, note your age, and approach those who are single, divorced, or perhaps lonely. They know you may desire companionship or affirmation, so they shower you with flattering words. Once they gain your attention, they patiently build trust. Soon, they feign disinterest, prompting you to chase after them, as though begging for love. At that point, they introduce stories and strategies designed to extort money.
I have encountered such individuals myself. One pretended to be genuine, but eventually began requesting sexually explicit video calls and photos. Instead of complying, I spoke to him about morality, faith, and respect. When he realized he could not manipulate me, he disappeared. Sadly, he was not the only one—there are many like him.
Yet, this does not mean that all online relationships are fraudulent. There are genuine men and women seeking real love. The challenge is discerning what is authentic and what is not. That is the journey we must walk through together.
Can One Find a Wife on TikTok?
- Yes, it’s possible: TikTok is a platform where people share their lives, talents, and values. Some genuine relationships have begun there, just as they have on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube.
- But it’s not designed for dating: Unlike apps such as Christian Mingle or eHarmony, TikTok is not structured to foster intentional, safe romantic connections. It is primarily for entertainment and community building, so finding a spouse there is more accidental than deliberate.
Example Message: “Hello dearie…”
Messages like this raise red flags:
- Privacy push: Asking to move immediately to WhatsApp suggests avoidance of accountability and may be a scam tactic.
- Demanding personal info: Requests for pictures, age, or private contact too early are intrusive. Healthy relationships build trust gradually.
- Tone mismatch: Calling someone “dearie” and focusing on appearance can feel objectifying rather than respectful.
Pastoral response: You do not owe strangers your private details. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Guarding your heart includes protecting your privacy and dignity online.
Pros of Online Dating
- Wider reach: You can meet people outside your immediate circle, including those who share your faith or interests.
- Convenience: Communication is easier across distances.
- Transparency (sometimes): Profiles can reveal values, hobbies, and beliefs before you invest emotionally.
Cons of Online Dating
- Risk of deception: Fake profiles, scams, or misrepresentation are common (2 Corinthians 11:14 warns that even Satan “masquerades as an angel of light”).
- Superficiality: Quick judgments based on looks or short videos can overshadow deeper qualities.
- Emotional vulnerability: Loneliness can make one overlook red flags, leading to unhealthy attachments.
- Pressure for intimacy: Some online interactions push for photos, private chats, or sexualized exchanges outside of God’s design.
Pastoral Advice with Scripture
- Seek God first: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). Let discernment, not desperation, guide your decisions.
- Test the spirit: “Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God” (1 John 4:1). Apply this to online interactions—test motives, consistency, and fruit of character.
- Value respect and patience: “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). A person rushing you for private information is not showing patience or kindness.
- Guard against unequally yoked bonds: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Online platforms often mix values; discern carefully before committing.
Practical Pastoral Counsel
- Set boundaries: Do not share personal pictures or private contact until trust is proven over time.
- Discern fruit: Look for consistency in faith, respect, and communication. Does the person’s life reflect Christ?
- Prefer community accountability: Meeting through church, mutual friends, or faith-based groups provides safer context.
- Pray for wisdom: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all” (James 1:5).
Summary
Yes, one can meet a spouse online—even on TikTok—but it requires discernment, boundaries, and prayer. Messages that rush intimacy or privacy should be treated with caution. A godly relationship is marked by patience, respect, and Christ-centered values, not pressure or intrusion.
Leave a comment