Philippians 3:7–8; Proverbs 3:5–6; Psalm 32:8; 2 Corinthians 5:17
There comes a point in life when the questions we avoided for years finally rise to the surface. Not questions of blame, but questions of clarity — questions that touch the places we don’t talk about often.
Questions like:
How did I choose my friends?
Why did I trust certain people?
Why did I enter relationships that were never aligned with God’s will?
Why did I settle for less than what God desired for me?
These are not foolish questions. They are the questions that come when God begins to heal your history.
1. When You Grow Up Without the Lord
You grow up without the Lord guiding your decisions. You choose from the wrong places — loneliness, insecurity, pressure, or the desire to belong. And those choices can shape your life in ways you never expected.
I remember reflecting deeply one day and asking myself a painful question:
“Why do I always have friends who stay during the good times, but disappear the moment there is a crack?”
It was a pattern.
A wound.
A truth I didn’t want to face.
I watched people I called “friends” quietly distanced themselves whenever hardship came. They acted as though my affliction might contaminate their comfort. As though my struggle was too heavy for their shallow loyalty.
And I had to ask myself:
Why did I choose them in the first place?
The answer hurt:
I didn’t choose them for the right reasons.
I chose them because I didn’t know God yet.
I chose them because I didn’t know myself yet.
I chose them because I didn’t know my worth yet.
Most of them did not have the depth of relationship with God that I had grown into. So when storms came, they had no spiritual anchor to stand with me.
Scripture says:
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”
— Proverbs 14:12
Without God, even our friendships can become traps.
2. If I Knew Then What I Know Now
If I had known God earlier, I would have chosen differently.
- I would have asked God for a godly husband, not just waited for any man who showed interest.
- I would have asked God to open my spiritual eyes and ears before choosing a path or a calling.
- I would not have allowed academic praise, intelligence, or ambition to cloud my judgment about my future.
- I would have chosen friends who loved God, not just people who loved my company.
But regret is not the end of the story.
3. God Redeems What We Can’t Rewrite
We can’t go back and edit the beginning of our story.
But God can redeem every chapter we lived without Him.
“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation…”
— 2 Corinthians 5:17
He doesn’t erase our past — He transforms it.
He doesn’t shame our mistakes — He uses them.
He doesn’t condemn our choices — He teaches us through them.
Paul understood this deeply:
“Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss… because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ.”
— Philippians 3:7–8
This is the posture of a healed heart:
Not “If only,” but “From now on.”
4. A New Way Ahead
If you still have time — and you do — give the rest of your life to God.
Let Him choose your friends.
Let Him shape your relationships.
Let Him direct your calling.
Let Him heal your patterns.
Let Him teach you how to love and be loved.
“I will instruct you. I will teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with My loving eye on you.”
— Psalm 32:8
You may not be capable of rewriting the beginning of your story. You can let God author the rest with wisdom. He will give clarity and grace.
Call to Action
Take a moment this week to sit with God and ask Him three simple questions:
- Lord, who is truly meant to walk with me in this season?
- What relationships or patterns do You want to heal or remove?
- Where are You leading me next, and how can I follow with clarity?
Write down what He reveals.
Pray over it.
And take one small step of obedience.
Your future does not have to look like your past.
God is ready to lead you — if you’re willing to let Him.
Closing Prayer
Lord, thank You for opening my eyes to the places where I chose without You. Heal the wounds created by my past decisions, and redeem every chapter I lived without Your guidance. Lead me into relationships, friendships, and paths that honor You. Teach me to choose wisely, love deeply, and walk closely with You. From this day onward, let my choices show Your wisdom, not my own. Amen.
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