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Introduction:
If there’s anything life has taught me, it’s this: relationships shape us more than we realize. This is true not just for the big ones like marriage or ministry partnerships. It is also true for everyday ones. These include friendships, workplace connections, mentors, and spiritual companions. This is true even for the people we collaborate with for a season.
When I look back over my life, I can clearly see the fingerprints of the relationships that helped me grow. I can see the ones that stretched me. I can also see the ones I had to gently release. And the more I grow, the more I understand that relationships are not accidental. They are God‑ordained spaces where we learn, heal, sharpen, and become.
But they also need discernment.
Let me share what I mean.
What Relationships Really Are
When I talk about relationships, I’m not just talking about romance or close friendships. A relationship is simply any connection that influences you — your thoughts, your habits, your confidence, your spiritual posture.
Some relationships pour into you.
Some drain you.
Some refine you.
Some distract you.
Some are temporary.
Some are foundational.
And all of them — every single one — leaves an imprint.
That’s why relationships matter so deeply.
The Ones That Have Affected Me
The relationships that have shaped me the most are the ones that:
- Speak truth with grace
- Honor God’s presence
- Encourage growth without pressure
- Celebrate my progress
- Challenge me when needed
- See my humanity, not just my assignments
- Hold space for both my strength and my vulnerability
These are the relationships that make me better — spiritually, emotionally, and even professionally.
But I’ve also known relationships that did the opposite.
And maybe you have too.
Not Every Relationship Is Meant to Stay
Some relationships look good on the outside but quietly weaken you on the inside. They may be:
- Emotionally draining
- Spiritually dull
- Competitive instead of supportive
- Manipulative or controlling
- Distracting from purpose
- Rooted in insecurity or pride
These relationships don’t always announce themselves. Sometimes you only realize their impact when you step away and breathe again.
And here’s the truth I had to learn:
God doesn’t just send relationships — He also ends them.
Not to punish us, but to protect us.
There are relationships you must resist, relationships you must flee, and relationships you must release so you can grow.
And that’s okay.
It’s healthy.
It’s biblical.
Relationships Are God’s Design — Isolation Is Not
One thing I know for sure:
God never designed us to walk alone.
Even Jesus surrounded Himself with people — imperfect people — because community is part of God’s blueprint for human flourishing.
Isolation for God is holy.
Isolation from people is dangerous.
When we isolate ourselves because of fear, we cut ourselves off. Hurt or disappointment can also lead to isolation. This separation removes us from the very connections God wants to use to strengthen us.
Healthy relationships:
- Anchor us
- Sharpen us
- Protect us
- Encourage us
- Challenge us
- Remind us who we are
We grow best in community — the right community.
Finding Better Relationships
If you’ve ever walked away from unhealthy relationships, I understand.
If you’ve ever wondered whether better ones exist, they do.
Sometimes God removes what we thought we needed so He can give us what we truly need.
Finding healthier relationships often looks like:
- Healing old wounds
- Setting new boundaries
- Learning to trust again
- Seeking God‑aligned connections
- Being open to new people
- Letting God choose who stays
And when the right relationships come, you’ll feel the difference.
You’ll breathe easier.
You’ll grow deeper.
You’ll stand stronger.
A Final Word From My Heart
The relationships that have positively affected my life didn’t just happen — they were God’s way of shaping me. And the ones I had to release were also part of His shaping.
My encouragement to you is simple:
Hold on to the relationships that build you.
Release the ones that break you.
And trust God with the ones that are still forming.
You don’t need many — just the right ones.
And God knows exactly who those are.
Lord,
Give me the wisdom to see clearly, the courage to heal deeply, and the grace to be restored fully.
Where I have been wounded, bring recovery.
Where I have been weary, bring renewal.
Where I have been broken, bring Your restoring touch.
Lead me into wholeness, strengthen my spirit, and align my heart with Your will.
Amen.

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